what would you care for

what would you care for
in this mystic island of mystery
all but a fog fading into abyss
the sundry valley lies bare
to the cold winds prowling and haunting
and I open my eyes into this wasteland
and a breath of life comes to remind me
that this is my world

what would i care for
if such is my world where
nothing but emptiness raptures into light
brazen winds sigh an eloquent silence
and where there should be blue there is the dark
the darkness that eludes me into fear.

who would i care for
if such is my world
no one but ghostly souls
drinking and dancing in their nakedness
caring all for their mortal beliefs
dressing it all in a beautiful camouflage
and not a token of truth in their vices
and not a token of love in their hearts

ever once would you find a voice
as sweet and slender as an unseen stream
but as elegant and beautiful as an artist could think
the eyes of truth, beauty in action, elegance in belief
but then a storm approaches my watershed
and I am awoken into reality
that voice is a note of a distant tune
that voice would elude you
that which could never be yours

that is the reckoning of my sins
but along with the curse, the voice brought a blessing
it brought a melody to silence, a hue to the air
it brought that answer that i searched for
it made me see though the dark, it made me brave
along with the tears came the smiles
which would forever remain in my mind
and now i know what would i care for

i would care for the land laid barren
i would care for that battered soul in the dark
i would care for the action i take, the path i choose
i would care for histories, i would care for futures
all that for i came into being
but for all  the sadness, i would never forget
that breath of voice which gave me this answer
and i would fight for that answer and not stop
i would cover the roads, the valleys, the forests now that i know
what do i care for.

The vicious circle of absolutism

India is a breeding ground of vicious circles. ever since  our fathers enjoyed the magna carta of 1947 which set a forth a journey of idealism, all the plaguing darkness of that what has become no less than a heritage came to light. And today we live in an atmosphere of realism, hypocritically moving away from realism. and all this culminates to the present india - living in the realism of all that can plague any - poverty, communalism, patriarchy, 50 % bpl, demographic disaster, manual scavenging, corruption, crony capitalism, resource raj, and so on. What comes to bother is the acceptance of all such problems in the lie and truth of living under the facade of realism, and no such efforts being made, and no results if ever one is.

These problems have not been unique to our country. any and very country going through development has experienced the same. the one heritage of problems which has ever prevailed since the existence of society cutting accross cultures and times and spaces is that of divide. this may take the form of caste, colour, class, poverty - all belonging to the same family of draconian degradation. Time ad again 'reformists' have tried to search for cures. Prince Siddharatha saw this and became a reformer, Buddha. his thoughts were inspiration, but got plagued on becoming a cult. his reforms could never materialize in truth. All the social reformers and philosophers tried to search for an absolute answer to the same and came up with their own solutions. Karl Marx proclaimed that all that is needed is to replace the bourgeois by the proletriat - but wouldnt the tables on being turned remain the same - wouldnt divide still prevail? what was common amongst all such reformers was a ready class of followers ready to agree, ready to believe blindly in these solutions. they believed them to be ideal. they believed them to be real. and it is they who corrupted this thoughts, and proved that these could never be real.

The moot question to be asked is - do we even want a solution? or in agreeing in different such answers, we merely agree to placate ourselves , to appease our minds of a single contribution that we can do. The other day I was on my way to kFC   with friends to celebrate someone's birthday. and it was all in the mood of jubilation, in the dreams of having the perfect meal, that I came across and elderly women on the footpath nearby a dustbin someone's used burgers graciously. this was the paradise that she could afford. all the skyscrapers of malls around were her 'glimpse' that she could afford into a world which could never be hers. She belongs to that great world, which is truly India - an India that we blatantly choose to ignore, an India that we do great disservice when we define a fine line of Rs. 26 as that what defines poverty. an India that has no hope yet. an India which would only agree rhetorically without any sense of an answer that their conditions had changed since independence and will improve in future. an India that we ignore in all the crude talks of development in terms of monetary values and economies. An India that gets displaced by an exodus for ethnic reasons. An India which if one day demands for their share for justice, we will have loss of letters for an answer.

 It can be reasoned that it is in the hawkish, individualist viewpoint that is inherent in human behavior, that we choose to keep the collective as a subsidiary. all that matters is that of the goal of an individual - like  that in college to pass in an irrelevant exam, to get a bogus job, but with a high pay, so that you can party on weekends. Hell, this individualism applies to that India described above as well. Adding to this comes the glands of political populism, to which the middle and upper class have either no interest in or are interested for their own lobbies. Perhaps all such rhetorics together produce 'realism' . Revolution is probably nothing more than a myth or a lie today when it talks about absolute solutions to problems. all that can be done is individually - to combine societal 'realism' together with individual fetish of idealism.

The curse of THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Let me start be saying at the forefront by saying that I happen to be a member of the new geekaholic cult - something which has been on the rise since the past about 40 years, the magna carta of which I believe was the release of George Lucas's star wars in 1977. Since then the movie industry recognized that  which could be the greatest asset in this industry - the incorrigible fanboyism, that which allowed religions to rise would now also be an entertainment asset. The industry recognized that this new cult - largely teenagers and early adults were   in the same crisis as all generations have been - that of identity; this one escalated to a higher level factored by a modern techno centric age - one in which while leaders proclaimed birth of new era of free will, technology catalyze individualism at a more subjective rate - symbolising the eminent eclipse between glamour and substance.

And so it started.From sci fi movies to the traditions of sequels and prequels, leading to creation of movie cultures and franchises. This 'following' was not unprecedented - it was already there in sports, in all essence it was born with the modern age. The new crowd was inspite all developments and achievements around - weak and unsure. And it would just find anything to faith in something more than in itself - a football club, a tennis player, a movie maker or a maverick celebrity. It appears that the internet has come over as the final word in this 'chase' of finding just anyone and anything to put its faith in. And so would  be for the media. Rather than living true to what it was meant to be at inception, it decided would follow the entire world of entertainment lore 'like a dog chasing cars' to get just anything - any tiny bit which it can proclaim upon. It would covertly try to unravel details about lives and stars and movies with grand passion. So we now had established websites and forums ready to encroach upon details of movies, and the crowd was blind enough to accept it - something of its own form of  a guilty pleasure. Worse still the makers apparently accepted it unconsciously

And this was the harsh truth bared upon me when i watched The Dark Knight Rises'. Yes the movie was good and bad in its own respect. But something which will scar it remarkably is that most of its news and 'predictions' by the same hoopla of a media proved to be accurate. And probably to a certain percentage my own fantasy about the cult of Christopher Nolan's filmmaking or the blind wide dreamed faith in the series. The surprises the movie were not surprises for me - everything appeared to drive me in a perpetual state of deja vu ; that i had read or seen or guessed or theorized each one at some place or at some time. And this is what felt to betray me - a faith lost or undelivered over a movie about which i had read everything everywhere where ever could find over probably more than a year. This seemed to be the same betrayal of faith by watching Manchester United play last season. It appears that marketization has hurt every person somehow. The fact that the game changers as such of an industry - an umbrella over movies, sports, tv shows, etc. have begun to accept as a necessary evil is the curse of the worst kind.

Because in the end every one will smile - the audiences will applaud, the movies will earn, the media will glow - but this will kill the existence of unprejudiced viewing of complete appreciation making works marvel in true form. Have we completely lost the spirit of such a maturity? Or when everything grows out on an escalated scale such is to happen?
All I know is that searching about movie details and unbounded expectations made The Dark Knight Rises too predictable for Nolan's taste. And this is the curse alive and well as a parasite in franchise lore today. 

The good and the ugly

If the mind was a bottle and water the goodness that fills it, we have always loved to see it in the amount that fills it - the bottle half full, the bottle a fourth full, etcetra. What is ignored is the capacity of the mind to be, in this imagery, empty - or being facelessly filled by that which our fathers wrote in the books as evil; which I would like to define as the capacity to do something other than what has been proscribed as good. Surely good doesn't always triumph, else this would been a heavenly world ruled by idealistic rulers, every single man of the society content with what he has, with joy in every corner, with no tear in any eye, with no wretched murders killing men as sheep, with no duty less sons howling at their fathers, with no cycle of money playing the common whore. No that would be the heaven men dream for in their tired sleep, this would be the promise at the back of the minds when men choose to do what is good and righteous. That would be the world filled by angels.

  

But ours was filled with men, who in their dire more primitive forms are just an evolved being, grasping onto  what they say is their own, living off the same way all  other beings would in the wild - a fight for survival. All the difference between them and us being that all we are left is to fight each other for the same. We then try to distract ourselves from this - we would build tall buildings, paint a canvass, fall in love, cry for the good, fight against the ugliness that we truly are. All the same forgetting the one true fact that minds were not built for the nobility of doing good or the wrath of delivering evil, it was built for the sole purpose of survival. And the fact that we in our world have grown beyond this sole purpose into a present where at times we do face the chance of doing what is right and that which is not is all the progress mankind has made till this moment.

So if we we have grown beyond the animal definition of survival into a societal form, where colors of custom and tradition, borne out of religious labels of legends - the colors tended to blind the ugly part of human doings into a beautiful spectra, where every soul in the audience is marveled by the beautiful show of doings of others; a society which wants to display the heavenly existence of the present, comes out the question - is it 'good' to be 'good' or 'bad' to be 'good' or really 'doesn't matter' to be 'good' ? The premise of this was cast off by the very definition of good, being in equal proportion both vague and prejudiced, the same definition and the need to be good, as repeated to us each and every moment of our growing up. No, I am not referring to those who would commit a crime for necessity, by 'us' I refer to those who have a choice in the old referendum in the debate of good and bad - those who would commit a crime by choice or by the lust for it; and those who would not. And so men grow up, remembering the necessity to do good as thats how the gods would command us to do - letting it slip to the subconscious the truth behind it all - a fear of doing otherwise.

But surely, the ugly side of the mind does exist - why would we have lust, addictions, greed, thee fantasies. Putting all these inside an as imaginative creature as the mind, would produce wild cravings - the desire for the unthinkable, the wrath of the ugly, the want of blood and murder, the satisfaction of revenge. Because it is true there ever was and ever will be only one Buddha, who could grow even beyond this. But we will never be Buddhas- we would always be humans, the ugliness of who's evil perpetuates along with the beauty of who's good.

Shall we be good and holy by the definition of religion, or shall we complicitly give in to the lust of evil, which appears to be even purer, without the guilt of it? Both choices will always exist around us, each being pure and true to their word, leaving behind the prejudices of the Gods we created and the legends we repeated. What shall an ideal man do - that which would make him a man? The true choice, can be both - the good and the ugly, if the process of thought is grown beyond the shackles of society; each choice being correct in its view, if given in with full complicity - not doing good due to fear , as it destroys the true virtue it lives for and not doing evil with guilt, as it colors its own ugliness.

Through Fire

There is always an ongoing celestial collision of monstrous beings creations inside the universe of your mind, raring to blast through, raring to come out, raring to crash out of your mind into that which is uninhibited. broken thoughts, feelings that remain but never go away, stories that never happen, endings that preclude through the beginnings- that is how your life reflects back at you.  You curse your life, the darkness that is saddled along. It is said that You are the God of Your World. You are the demon of your mind. And if there is an entire World with all its cosmic fabrications inside of you - how are we supposed to handle it? How can we control it?

You cant bear the thought of it. You would curse life, and a withering want would boil inside- tyo break out, to shout, to kill. Is that what we have got? Is that what life really is? A chronicle of events which no one will be bothered with. Isn't it better to look it the other way, into the darkness? Or is it better to not look at all, and to contemplate the opposite - death?

But of course it becomes essential to first give the proper definition of death and darkness. Death is our constant fellow traveler - staring right at us where ever we may be. It is the end to all the circles we want to form. But what is death? It is the fundamental truth that has bound the world onto a single thread. That what we all have to face - that which we cant run away from, its going to be with us always. All of us have considered death to be an illustrious solution at one point or the other. There must have been a single moment when you would have thought of death - be it in a morbid way, or at a suicidal level - as an option. But death can catch upon us in life.The ideal question is can we die before we die?

But then what is life ? Is it beautiful? Is it scarred? Is it a bleak false image? Every person has a want to unscramble the meaning of life which he gets in his subconscious. A mystery which you were born with and which goes on until the end.Life just happens to be a multidimensional entity inside our minds - each moment differing from the other in its viewpoint , each of differing intensity than the other. And it is then when our minds go through an inner fire. Uncontrolled. Unabrred. It is then when the moving waters of the river of life stands still that death takes over. Stagnant Life is death.

All the famous science hooligans agree to this truth that our what we see , what we hear, what we hear - all rounds off to the point of view . Life is just as we see it. It may wobble, it may run, it may flow away. But it has a final tendency to settle down into a stable flow. It goes through fire and water at the same time. So it be contained. It has to go about when it has to. That is what the real unsolved truth is. It is through fire. It is through water. It is what you want it to be. The question is : Can you live when you live?

Hurt

I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real,

The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting,
Try to kill it all away,
But I remember everything,

What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

I wear this crown of thorns,
Upon my liars chair,
Full of broken thoughts,
I cannot repair,

Beneath the stains of time,
The feelings disappear,
You are someone else,
I am still right here,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

If I could start again,
A million miles away,
I will keep myself,
I would find a way.


- Trent Reznor

Why I want to hate Facebook

You are connected - this appears to have become the punchline of the present of our digital world. And the talisman behind this very renewed idea of connecting a single person (or in digital language 'user') to the entire pool of information in the world filled up by other singular reflective beings of the society, was the internet. the idea was simple - you will get plugged into this world. or this is a world which can only be when plugged in. you will enter, watch, learn, take and after a point give. the idea was simple - combine the economical idea of the ancient business idea of give and take with the Marxist notions of equality, individuality, supreme power to the individual. And the internet talked about doing just that - we would have search engines replace encyclopedias, online blogs replacing newspapers, you could argue if you want on an idea in this, and more so give an idea to the other - at no cost, be it economical or personal. And this did win - this had to win, the past twenty odd years witnessed the rise of the internet, which I would like to call as the modern age revolution. This was the world where absolutely everything worked on to get perfect. Whilst the world may be losing resources one one end - this was a brave new world resourceful and methodical in every sense ( be it tech, science, sex, movies, etc. etc.).

All this was what I got to see about 5-6 years ago. Internet - the figure of the modern world. You open up to a world invisible to your own. The sad part is five years later - it has become your world. And the proprietor is probably the entity which resides to be the most used tab of almost every person reading this - Facebook. You walk facebook, you talk facebook. Going online has become a form of a ritual today,  but when you do there are probably a very few sites you would care to visit. Internally, almost every person has a want of making his world as simple as possible. But when you do, Facebook is probably the first website a person is deemed to visit. Read my definition of the term 'target audience' as mainly the college goers and high school grads who 'faced - off' with the ever changing face of social networking during the past decade or so ( myspace to orkut to facebook or twitter). And this target audience grew to expand in a much more draconian way than any epidemic. The thing was - this 'virus' had to spread. Here the host wanted the virus itself.

 The need - exploited
The tragedy is that an idea, which transgressed the basic philosophy of the innovation called internet - a platform where you could get information, (as in every case of internet) - but about people in your lives or people you meet up or people whom you may have forgot in your past; delved deep into the insight of the sensitive side of the humane nature of the 'user'. This was the side which made you want things in life- unmaterialistic ( you would say friendship or love, but I argue it is something far more trivial). This is a desire which is the root cause of probably all relationships that a person makes in life. To be considered a person of a society. To have people in your life who would be affected by  what you say or think or do. You want others to see what you see in life - this can be related to an evolutionary characteristic of show casing superiority about your self. About your life. Maybe our lives give us little chance of doing that. And then there was Facebook.


The False image
We love lying about what we really are. Here was a source so deeply established in the internet world that we would forget we are lying about ourselves. And so was with the facebook 'profiles' or the new 'timeline' dubbed as 'the story of your life' (the comparison of a single page to something more far fetched). So we showed off here in ways we wanted the world to see us. Our beautiful selves showed off on a webpage. Your mind would always get a tinge of tasteful happiness when you would see a 'like' or an awe ridden 'comment'.  There was a new level unopposed competition with these - 'Abey tune mera pic like nai kiya!'.  This made us sink in. We could satisfy ourselves to others - the need to connect. And this made us become hazardous to a dangerous addiction.

For it becomes difficult to come back to our real worlds when we are in a fantasy. And Facebook helped us create a fantasy world - our very own. You would unconsciously compare a person's social presence by the staggering number in his friend list. You can find people posting every single shit crossing their minds as their 'status'. You yourself love to post that shit. You want everyone to see your shit.

The wrong connection
With the new time of cult favorite mobile phones, of high megapixel cameras, of the tool, which has now come to have a language of its own, was Facebook. It was a spiritual connection, convened much before their existences, culminating into establishing a new face of the society. You would go online to see what a person is doing, to talk with that person, to establish a connection in this new faced society. The thing is, that connection happens to be virtual. You have new friendships being rejuvenated online.You have relations made and relations broken online. You have compassion being stewed online. Have we come to make all of these parts of human nature so artificial? Or was it all always such a joke?

You would remain online looking about what those people do whom you will probably never ever see in life. And you would come again and again. This was the digital portion of your life.
The question is not why Facebook came out to be this big, but rather is if we can make ourselves accept our real selves and perfect the imbecile bond between our real lives and our Facebook lives. Or if we even want to.
All of this makes me want to hate Facebook to its fullest. The trouble is : I'm addicted.

My ten pics of 2011

last year was a mixed one for movies. rather than having  movies which could make the quintessentially observing audience wonder about the making and leaving a mark, this was the year of wasted and forced sequels. not got a story - pick it up from a pervious one - obviously the contemplated audience have always loved to watch again what they already have. so we hadpirates : on stranger tides, fast five, chipwrecked, final destination 5, etc. 

the makers, though, can be proud to have re-introduced the slow moving cinema style, something which we havent seen in past years. here's my 10 best list of 2011, not includig movies like the artistand the tree of life which i cant bear to watch. also i havent seen hugo and the girl with dragon tattoo, thanks to the release date in our country.

10. Warrior

we saw the fighter last year and it reminded us of rocky. however here came a movie on boxing which just took it to the next level.  yes, the drama involved in two brothers facing off in a final has not been done enough justice and the father's role is overrated. But, its the moments in boxing that catch your eye. tom hardy is the find of the movie. the role of a silent, damaged boxer with a troubled past has been done to perfection by hardy while at the same time depicting a ruthless boxer with no repect for rules and traditions. cant wait to see him in dark knight rises.

9. X men : first class

Matthew Vaughn did it again. he suprised us with Kick Ass and he has outdone himself this time. this was the best movie of the X men franchise and is probably one of the best prequels ever. Michel Fassbender delivers and how! you simply love it when one of the main characters has an evil inside and Fassbender does show the broken emotions of Erik Leshnerr just fine while he is on a path of rampant vengence. James Mcavoy doesnt fit in to the character of Charles Xavier, but it is Fassbender's movie from beginning to end. A good negative role by kevin bacon makes the movie one to remeber for.

8. The Adventures of Tintin : The Secret of the Unicorn

we had great expectations from this spielberg venture. I personally thought that this could have been another one of his land mark franchises la Indiana jones or jurrasic park.  Boasting of the the best directors, a brillint cast and two best script writers of our time with a born to do cast, this was the most awaited movie of the year. and this one did deliver : you couldnt help to fall in love with snowy, you had to love the drunk potryal of Haddock (Andy Serkis did it again ) and the breath of adventure from the word go and the wonderful 3 D effects. but yes, this movie did fall short from what it could have been. yes we loved it, but this was sure no Indiana Jones.

7. Sherlock Holmes : A game of Shadows

This resident of 221B Baker Street has beeen with us for a long time. we've interpreted him and his mind in severa ways, but Guy Ritchie had a unique place for him in his world. Of course we've seen what Guy Ritchie's world is with Snatch and Lock stock and two smokin barrels. it is repitive but u cant resist to fall for it. What stands out is his ability to redo what he does. and so happens here. with the second movie whilst you can be critical or overshowing of Holmes' apparent love for disguises, you have two appreciate the adrenaline punching style of the englishman. the action sequeces have been nothing short of great and Jared Harris does the role of Professor Moriarty just fine. With Hans Zimmer's score, this was 'the' popcorn entertainment of the year.  

6. Kung fu Panda 2

ever does a sequel outdo its predescessor and make you crave for the next one with its final shot. our favorite panda returned to perfect himself with inner peace. With the success of the second movie you cn argue that dis is one of the best animation franchises we've seen over the years. and with some fantastic 3 D effects this movie stood out for not not being one solely for kids but equally entertaining for adults. 

5. The Ides of March

2011 belonged to Ryan Gosling. And you wouldnt root for George Clooney directing a political thriller abouta n idealist staffer getting to face the politics in its true game. But this movie was out to surprise you. Gosling does the role of the new staffer to perfection and apart from a slow tight screenplay which stood out, changing the story form bit by bit, this movie showed just what verball skills can do in politics.

4. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Hollywood can be proud. while our country released Don 2 of which I saw a few people talking about as 'great' or 'the king is back', a week later we had this movie. Probably the best movie ever made about the cold war and a fantstical performance by a boastful cast( Gary Oldman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, etc.), the movie showed crude sophistication prevelant to it true level. this was the movie showing the transferring of cold war documents in an oven - it was the depiction of secrets that made this movie an instant classic, and one which you would have to sink in to understand it to the fullest. And appreciate it.

3. Drive

 A simple plot, a silent hero, a deal gone wrong - that is all Drive is about. But why would never forget it? the style. this was where Ryan Gosling proved that he could be an actio hero a he potrays a mysterious unnamed driver with mysterious character. the stand out scene ws when the protagonist kisses the female lead, shown in a slow fashion, and then turns to break the skull of one of the bad bad guys standing beside them. this showcased the slow, sultry style of cinema to perfection. Reviewers said this to be the 'guy movie of the year'. But i suppose girls will love him even more.

2. Rise of Planet of the Apes

Andy sekis has a right to complain. He was the Gollum, He was the king kong, and now he was Caesar. And this time it you do feel for him that he deserves an oscar. you can feel for the ape caesar as he is loved, then punished, then leads the beginning of a revolution. the landmark scene of the movie is when the apes culminates his anger to shout out 'no!' this was a scene which I can never forget. The CGI effects to show all the apes has been done to perfection. the best part of the movie, though, is the  end credits

1. Harry Potter and the deathly Hallows : Part 2

 theere have been a lot of emotional series finales. Return of the King, Revenge of the sith, etc. Ever does a series come to become a folklore which you would listen aout in ages to come. but Harry Potter was the movie of my age. And I can be proud that this was not the sole reason why this is is in my number 1 spot. This was prrobably th best finales of all times, combining everything into a single ecstatic epic. with the best effects and great performances, this is probably the best book to movie conversions upto date and hence there's no doubt why this is at the top of  my list.